Thursday, March 13, 2008

Solution for the bleh

Nothing helps a case of the blehs more than a list of things one is thankful for, so I'm going to make one. In no real order:

1: Jon. I never thought that one person could affect me so profoundly. This man is incredible. Sometimes, he is a healer, sometimes a complete support system, sometimes a dear friend, sometimes my reason for waking up. Always a person that I am thrilled to be married to. I'm very lucky. Very lucky. You know that one song in Sound of Music? "Something Good" That's how I feel. I messed up a lot to get to Jon and he has always been totally accepting of me as I am. I really really love him.

2: My mom. She all but sacrificed her youth to raise me. And I know, like I said, that I've messed up. But I'm good now. And I'm good now because of her love and dedication. Also, she's really fun to spend time with, and I miss her these days. And now, I'm very proud of her. She's going back to college, and she's making straight A's, learning sign language like a fiend. I think it is very cool that she is doing what she's always wanted to now.

3: Allison. I swear these won't all be people...but I'm getting those over with first. Allison has been a life saver. She is my best friend in the world, and if I lived 70 lives, I bet she'd be the best out of all of them. We've known each other for 12 years...lived together for 3 or 4 and been next door neighbors for a couple of those too. And know what? We've never once, not ever ever, gotten in a fight. Not even a little one. She has been there for me every step of the way, and I hope she can say the same thing about me. She has always been a person that I can be totally myself around, and she doesn't seem to mind when whatever "myself" is changes. I just really love her. I think people underestimate the importance of having someone that you can really be yourself around.

4: My whole family. I won' t make this long. I am blessed with a good family.

5: My in-laws. They've made me absolutely welcome in their home and family and lives, and I have no doubt that they love me.

6: My friends. I have a tendency to change friends a lot. My thought has always been that we have limited time, so you should really like someone to spend your time hanging out. And I'm fickle. And I'm terrible at keeping up with someone after they move, or I move. But at this point in my life, I have some good friends. I've got Allison and Matt-they're true to the bone friends. But for once, I have at least 20 people that I wouldn't mind spending the day with. A whole day. That may be the first time in my life that this has happened. I'd make a list, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings if I leave them out.

7: Bertha. My dog. It's sad, but I like Bertha a lot more than I like most people. I even like her more than I like most of my friends. It's good for her that I like her so much, though, cause that dog is Mommified! She has issues with anxiety, especially if she doesn't know where I am. Or, if it's time for me to come home, and I haven't yet. She just sits in the window and stares. Nothing makes you feel as important as coming home to a rotten dog.

8: Hickory. I love it here, and I think I'll stay. I particularly love the downtown area.

9: My condo. I really think it's darling. And it's right next door to Allison. It's the perfect size for a man and a wife and a dog. I love the way it is decorated. I love how close it is to everything. I love the bathtub, and the bay window. I love the bathroom Jon remodelled.

10: My health. I have my own issues and all, but overall, I think I'm pretty stout. I'm glad. It makes the rest of my life better.

11: Technology. I always used to think that I was born into the wrong generation...that I would do better growing up in the 70s, or even in Ancient Greece. But now I can accept the truth. I love technology way too much. I'm happy to be in this witness all the new technology. Ipods, HD TV, the internet, GPS devices, cell phones. I mean really-these things are way way too good to ever go without again.

12: My relationship with my dad. It was pretty spotty there for a while, but things have changed a lot over the last couple of years. I had to accept that we probably would never have that typical father/daughter relationship. But that's cool, because I'm really not interested in that. The relationship we have now is great-but it's just not typical. But my dad and I are fiercely alike in a lot of ways. And I feel like I really need him in my life. Also, it is important for me to see the personality traits we share in someone me more perspective. My dad's wife Lori has been integral in fixing this relationship. She's very cool, and I feel indebted to her for help with that.

13: McGuires. I talk about that place a lot. I love it. It really is like cheers. The thing is-I don't drink. Alcohol doesn't really mix well with Carmen. So I'm this girl who doesn't drink, but hangs out at McGuires. And that's fine. Oddly, no one seems to care. And it's this place I can go to really feel welcome. And there is always someone for me to talk to. And always someone who knows my name. Most of my friends, I met there. I met Jon there. Plus, I love working there. Bartending is fun-hard, but enjoyable and lucrative. Karaoke is fun, but trivia is the best. I just love love love it. I'm no longer one of those people who hate Mondays now.

14: My camera. Jon gave it to me for Christmas. I've never been the type to carry around a camera, but I always have this one with me, and I take pictures of everything. I love it, and every single thing about it.

15: My bed. King size. Waterbed, covered by pillowtop. It's got 2 seperate water bags, so Jon's moving doesn't bother me and vice versa. It's heated and awesome. Needs more water, though, which seems like it's going to be a pain. Jon thinks the bed is a little too soft, so sometimes we sleep in the other bed. I like having 2 beds. Keeps things more interesting.

16: Theatre. I was going to specify a particular theatre....but I'll leave it at theatre. It has really shaped my life. Both by giving me an artistic outlet, and by the introduction of countless people into my life. I'm taking a break for now, but it has really shaped my life.

17: My natural talents. I've never really had to work hard at school, or creative endeavors. I feel pretty blessed to be me. I don't mean for that to sound arrogant. I don't mean it that way. But I do feel like there are lots of things that come naturally to me that are difficult for other people.

18: I've moved a lot of places, and I always thought that was bad. But, it made me who I am, and also, more importantly, it taught me valueable coping taught me how to be charming. You have to be charming to make new friends. And charm is a very valuable thing.

19: I feel comfortable in my own skin. Seems like a given...but I haven't always. I do now, though. This is me. Like me or don't-doesn't matter to me too much either way. Because I like me. And so do Jon and Allison. So there.

20: My job. I love it, and it keeps me real. It's hard to get too uppity when you have to deal with kids and their brutal honesty at every turn in the road. Sometimes it makes me so tired I could cry, but I really like my job a lot.

21: I have a car that takes me from point a to point b without ever breaking down, or even complaining.

22: My pretty things. I like to be surrounded by things I think are pretty. It makes me smile, you know? There isn't a direction I can look in my house without seeing something I think is pretty.

23: Good Food. Yum.

24: The principal at my school. Some people said some things that made me worry. But when I got here, I realized those people aren't even people I why was I listening to them? My principal has a distinct style, and I like it. I haven't ever worried if she secretly hates me. She puts it on the table. She says what others leave hanging in the air. I do that too...and I've learned that it makes some people resent you. But who cares what those idiot people think? I love her style. My old principal...I knew she didn't like me, but only because she treated me unfairly. She never once told me why or gave explanation...I just love this new one's personality. I feel like I'm on even ground, and I know where I stand. Also, if she starts to dislike me, I will know it, and I will know why. I just like that.

25: Hope/Faith/Love. It all keeps me going. I know it will get better as I go, and that's cool.


Allison said...

I'm grateful for a lot of these same things. I am not grateful for the company that sold me my camera.

Jenelle said...

This is precious! It's a good thing to be thankful. We should all be more thankful because we have so many blessings. And YOU are one of my biggest blessings. I'm so proud of you for turning out so great and so totally cool, but would have loved you just as much even if you hadn't. I am ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS here for you.XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Jenelle said...

Thanks for saying such nice things about me. I'm pretty fond of you as well!