Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Why I say my old neigbors were terrible:

There was this one time that I gave the kid $2 for his birthday. His mom took it to buy cigarettes.

The 18 year old boy missed school frequently to work, while the mom and dad stayed at home.

The mom never worked a day.

The dad worked one out of 7 days.

The oldest kid worked 6 out of 7 days.

Mother repeatedly sent oldest kid to see if they could borrow money from us.

I gave the kids a peach one time, and they didn't know what it was. (!!!!!)

The night it snowed, the kids woke up the whole building running around screaming at 2 am.

They had a dog that lived on their tiny back patio, barked incessantly, and got yelled at frequently.

The boys often missed school for no reason other than their mom didn't wake them up and get them ready in time.

They never had a car.

To get groceries, they sent the oldest kid on a bike.

They had no problem with the boys spray painting the stairs on the building, and never once asked the boys where they were going or what they were doing.

Allison shared a wall, and the parents spent huge amounts of time screaming at the top of their lungs.

They smoke their cigarettes inside, and come outside to throw the butts on the ground.

There were 3 months there where the kids ate DONUTS for at least 2 meals a day. Because they were free, and the parents couldn't be bothered to actually work to be able to afford actual food.

I loved the kids, but they had no volume EXCEPT THIS ONE WHICH THEY USED ALL THE TIME!!

The kids could hang out on my back porch for hours before anyone wondered where they were.

I feel like I'm beating a dead horse, so...

Finally, let me explain their leaving procedures:

Thursday afternoon, around 3: Decide to move, 10 minutes later, tell the kids.
Thursday afternoon, around 4: Get drunk. This lasts a good long bit.
Thursday evening, around 7: Start screaming at each other. This also lasts a good long bit.
Friday morning, around 8: Decide to keep the kids home instead of letting them tell their friends goodbye.
Friday morning, around 10: Get drunk.
Friday morning, around 11: Invite friends over to drink and "move".
Friday morning, around 11:30: Cuss out wife at the top of your lungs, in the front yard, and in front of all the friends, for not bringing your socks outside.
Friday afternoon, around 1: Rush to the front yard, from inside the house, to vomit all in the yard.
Friday afternoon, around 1:30: Leave the state. Leave all furniture, toys, and electronics. Leave the vomit and the cigarettes in the yard. Take only pictures and some clothes. Be sure to not tell the landlord, as they are 3 months behind on the rent. Be sure also to forget to notify the schools or the oldest boy's workplace.

Real winners, these guys.

I'm not sure what they did with their dog.

The whole condo seems better now...less trashy, but I'm so concerned about the boys. None of that was their fault. Without any good influences, they haven't got a shot at all. I miss them.

Oh-and interesting tidbit: The dad says he is the dad of all 3 children. I did the math, and that made him 14 at the time he impregnated the 22 year old, then he married her and started their charmed life. What kind of 22 year old girl goes around getting knocked up by a 14 year old? Gross.

2 comments:

liz said...

sounds like jerry springer shit!! some people sould not be aloud to breed. but i'm with you its not ever the kids fault liz

Allison said...

The funny about all of this is that these people are considered northerners.

I think the kids will be okay, just a little rednecky. That's all.